Forget All the Handcrafted Fromage: French Potato Chips Are Utterly Decadent.

This past Christmas, I found myself in the French countryside, an area that appeared on its best behaviour. Discreet, sparkling decorations, outdoor market stands overflowing with remarkably pristine fruits and veggies, and a vast array of cheeses to coat every mile of the Chunnel with dairy fat. Overflowing trays of glistening shellfish on ice seen through misty restaurant glass. While observing a extended but civil line of elegant residents collecting their craft Christmas cakes, I thought, disloyally, that my native city, York, which turns into a contemporary interpretation of a scene of decadence during the festive season complete with e-cigarettes tasting of mincemeat and ready-to-drink concoctions, would do well to absorb some pointers.

The Sophisticated Front

But this entire “art de vivre” stuff is merely a refined front – France is as prey to its most primal cravings like any other place. Merely enter any grocery store and the truth is revealed. The crisp aisle is an absolute sink of depravity, stacked with such varieties as *bleu d'Auvergne*, spiced bean patty, Flemish stew and savory dairy fat tastes. Who eats chips that taste of butter? It’s like something from the notorious midway festivals where they deep fry sticks of butter. A certain comedian has asserted they’re the best crisps she has ever sampled, however she has undoubtedly been influenced by a form of regional conditioning – after all, her childhood was in that very region.

Worldwide Anarchy

It is widely understood the world of potato chip seasoning across the globe is as lawless and unregulated as Silicon Valley. No one will permit the tuber to taste of itself, enhanced only as necessary by a simple, respectful sprinkle of sodium. Our own nation possesses a dubious legacy when it comes to snack tastes across Britain, particularly during the festive period. Not long ago, it should be remembered, gave us Christmas-cake flavoured crisps and exclusive steak-and-pâté flavoured chips. Let us also recall the occasion when a well-known shop deemed “festive fizz and berries” constituted a desirable taste in a salty crisp? But I thought better from the home of haute cuisine.

Where does it end? Foie gras crisps? Profiterole? Gauloises? I must cease, I’m only giving them ideas.